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Monday, 28 October 2013

How To: Slow Down Time


 
*deep intake of breath* Woah! What? What? Since when are you this amazing, Jess? (For the record, since always. )Wow. You're so clever!

Well thanks, I guess. But...okay, okay. I lied. Not completely, might I add before you start throwing tomatoes at me, but I may have just stretched the truth a little. In an essence, I guess I am showing you how to slow down time in your own special way. Let me explain.

I often find that sometimes I get so caught up in the hubbub and craziness that is called life and it feels like time is moving too fast and that I just can't keep up with it. Yes, time does fly when you're having fun but in a way, that sucks. I mean, don't you want all the fun times to last forever? I'd rather have all my amazing memories pass by at an excruciating slow pace so I could appreciate it better. Wouldn't you? So here's the trick to slowing down time; appreciate things. Each day find one thing to appreciate. Whether it's new friendships, a joke you heard today, something you ate at lunch, the way that cute boy/girl smiled at you, anything. And even if you've had, to be frank, a completely crappy day, appreciate it. Think: "oo today wasn't great. But I appreciate the experience and now I've learned from today and tomorrow will be a fresh, new start." Maybe even appreciate the fact that you're getting a fresh, new start the next day.


I know this sounds like a very strange method to slowing down time but I feel that when I don't stop and appreciate something everything passes by in a blur and I hate it when that happens. When you reflect and notice the little things, you're living. Actually living. Okay, yes technically we're all living 'cause our hearts are still beating and all that jazz. But there's a difference between living and floating. When you float, you just kind of lie there and let whatever happen take you places. Which can be okay at times, but in all honestly you don't want to float for the rest of your life.

Imagine you're in a swimming pool. Assuming you float the way most people do, ie. on their back, you only really get one view. It's difficult to look to the left or right because then you'll just get water in your face - which basically represents the difficulty and the consequence of 'floating'. When you live you're standing upright in the swimming pool. You can see in every direction and can easily launch into any stroke you please to. You can see everything and appreciate the fact that you can choose to either swim, stand or get out of the pool altogether. It's your choice. :)

 
So enough swimming metaphors for now. If you still think I'm a complete nutter, which I'll tell you now isn't far from the truth, just try it out. At the end of today, or at the end of tomorrow, or at the end of the week think about what went right. And think about what is going to happen. What I'm trying to say today is: live. (That makes me sound a bit like a mad scientist now that I've written that.) Really live. I spent the first half of my school term appreciating things and taking each day bit by bit and I feel like somehow I've managed to control time. It feels weird but oddly pleasant writing that I can control time.

♥ Jess ♥

Saturday, 26 October 2013

Attraction

Hi everyone! Hope you are all having a good break (those of you who are off school for now) and for those of you who aren't, keep pushing until your break - it's not that far away now!

So you guys may or may not know that I go to an all girls school. With that being said, this means I don't get any sort of regular communication with boys. I recently did a school production with our neighbouring boys' school and I do summer programs which are really the only two interactions I have with the opposite gender. Now don't get me wrong, my school isn't bad at all but it's true what they say; girls schools do have more drama. That's not saying that co-ed schools don't have drama (I mean there are boys there after all) but girls schools have more of a bitchy drama. None the less, I do appreciate being in a girls' school so I won't be too distracted by the opposite gender. But, (I'm getting back on track now, don't worry) because of my little interactions with boys it means I am a bit out of practice talking to them in general. During my summer programs I'm completely fine and I obviously still keep in contact with some of my friends that are guys. However there seems to be some sort of fuse in my head that combusts every time I talk to any boy from September until July.

Having recently finished my school production, I've gotten back to my natural charm and charisma while talking to boys (which is to say, not substantial in the first place but somewhat acceptable.) The point is, having gone through much drama over the past few weeks regarding boys, it made me wonder. Firstly, girls are a lot like animals in the way that we sometimes freak out over boys. And the majority sprint and shove others out of their way to reach a "mate" based, not actually on the attraction side of it, but solely because he contains different genitals to us females.



My second query is; what is attraction?

Don't fear, I'm not going to get all scientific on you all (although I don't doubt that my science teacher would be pleased if I did.) And I don't even have the answer myself. But what makes us become attracted to someone? I'm hoping to get the answer soon so I can inform all you lovely people reading of a more intellectual answer.
Think about it. Why are you attracted to certain people? Okay yes, you can find A LOT of people attractive eg. Andrew Garfield, The boy who delivers pizza every Friday, Zac Efron, That boy who's a friend of a friend of a friend, Dave Franco, James Franco, Jack and Finn Harries...the list goes on. But honestly think; 'Are you actually attracted to these people?' Your answer might still be 'yes' which I don't doubt that a lot of peoples' will be. However there will come a time when everyone, and I mean everyone, is fangirling over some hot boy/girl but you're not. You see that they're attractive and you can definitely appreciate that, but for some reason you're not actually attracted to him/her.



Take for example, Bob. (Obviously not his real name, but if you are called Bob - awesome.) Bob isn't the most attractive person, he's cute - sure - but not in the obvious sort of way. You and Bob are friends. You talk a lot on Facebook/iMessage/BBM and you often like each other's pictures on Instagram/Facebook. After a while you start to realise, 'Hey, this Bob kid is pretty great. I think I might like him.' But then comes along Dave (not his real name either). Dave is attractive and all the girls are pretty much in love with him. You guys talk a lot too. Maybe not as much as you and Bob, but still a fair amount. And you can definitely appreciate his face and his nice body too. Yet for some reason you found yourself falling for Bob even though Dave is even more handsome and probably more well rounded in every way.




See? It's weird how that worked out and I'm pretty sure a lot of people have experienced this. Isn't it funny, the way attraction works?

♥ Jess ♥

Saturday, 19 October 2013

Oh, If Only...

Boys are a very complicated topic. Fact. I mean they think so differently from us and act so different it makes me wonder how people have ever found their ideal mate to marry. Although I'm not looking for a husband just yet, boys on the whole still puzzle me greatly. Well not all boys, but this seems to only apply to the boys I like. (Funny that, isn't it?) One of the things I wish boys would please do, is be honest with you. I just wish that if you like me you would tell me. Don't leave me hints here and there because that just gets my hopes up and when you play "hard to get" I just feel completely crushed. Tell me and then I can decide if I need to stop wasting my time fan-girling over you or if I should just make a move already.

Please don't let me guess. My guesses are awful and I'm partially oblivious to many, many things in life, for example moving cars and people, therefore the most logical thing to do is tell me to my face loud and clear that you like/don't like me. Yesterday, Love-bug came up to me and we started chatting for a while. This made me think "ooo maybe he is into me" as I had seen his friend nudge him before he came up to me. Yet today he just seemed to be a bit awkward towards me. And in this case, no, absence does not make the heart grow fonder, because my heart is still confused as to whether I should be that fond of you or not.

And yes, I know boys probably want girls to do exactly the same thing or are looking for a girl to come up to them and make the first move. But sometimes you just want someone else to come up to you and have the guts to tell you they like you. Every once in a while is nice.

Listen, don't worry about boys/men. If it's meant to be, it will be. And even if they don't like you like that, it's their loss. And hey, there are plenty more fish in the sea as the expression is used so over commonly.



♥ Jess ♥

Sunday, 13 October 2013

Friendships

Bonjour! Ça va? I know, I know - where've you been, Jess? Things have been very crazy and hectic lately, academically and personally (? not sure if that was the right word to use...)Basically, I meant my personal life. As all of you are well aware I do share a lot of my thoughts and feelings with you since this is pretty much anonymous. So for anybody who is even remotely interested in my personal life, hope you like this one!

I've always had a bit of a complex with certain people. I won't go into too much detail on the whole subject of friendship, but I thought I'd rather focus on a certain aspect of this art. Besides my whole bullying story, I think one of the other things I've experienced (as of recently) is a certain amount of drama with certain people. Like I mentioned in my "Basements & Balconies" post, it may take a while for you to realise who is good for you and who isn't. That's nothing to be ashamed of, it's just part of life. But there comes a time when you do realise it and it is best to stay away. So today, I'm going to tell you a story:

I realised one of my "friends" was a basement person a while ago but as a forgiving person, I wanted to give her another chance. But as I've learnt, you should forgive and forget as soon as possible. This person was honestly one of the worst kinds of people you can have in your life. She was awful, manipulative and despicable - she was the kind of person who was nice to your face but sinful behind your back. I won't name her (I'm not the kind of person to do that) but also I think if I'm doing this anonymously it represents a whole demographic of people who are like this. For now, let's just call her Flimsy because she is flimsy as a friend, I guess.  Don't hate, I'm just trying to make this easier to understand and maybe make you laugh.

Flimsy and I were friends a couple years ago. Quite close. Almost best friends I'd say. I'm not sure exactly what happened to us but we started to drift apart and for the past few months she has changed completely. Before she was down-to-earth, friendly and I guess I respected her. However now I see her in a different light. It just shows that you have to really be prepared that some people are flimsy and aren't important for you to waste your time on.

Anyway, when Flimsy and I were close I told her some personal stuff about me and made her PROMISE not to tell. Yet a few weeks ago I found out she told my secrets to other people. That was one of the major turning points in our relationship. I mean we did have tension and awkwardness between us but that was the point where I fully realised what kind of a person she is.

"IF YOU WERE STABBED IN THE BACK, IT MEANS YOU WERE AHEAD IN THE FIRST PLACE."

 

I guess that just shows what kind of person "Flimsy" is. And let me just say;

1) If you are a "Flimsy", just STOP. It's not nice and people don't appreciate. You aren't gaining or helping in anyway so be a good friend to someone else and just move on.
2) If there's a "Flimsy" in your life, think about whether or not they really are worth your energy. It's completely up to you if you want to forgive them and move past any issues. But when the time comes that you just don't want to deal with this situation anymore, maybe it's best if you forgive and forget.



So why am I telling you this? I think it's important to learn who to trust and how to cope, so by sharing my story maybe you can learn a little bit about this craft.
As always, take care my loves! Next post will be better when I'm not annoyed/sad/exhausted. I promise!

♥ Jess ♥

Wednesday, 2 October 2013

Lizzy Bennet = Me

In my last blog post, I mentioned the fact that my English class is now tackling Pride and Prejudice. Before this was given as a reading assignment, I had previously attempted to read P+P but had no such luck. One reason may have been my poor English level back then but I realised that Pride and Prejudice is not something to be read lightly the first time. Personally, I think there needs to be some analysis and thought about the characters and the storyline to really appreciate the magic that is Pride and Prejudice. Like I've often said before, I never tend to like books that we are forced to read in school yet I found myself falling in love with the characters. Even Mr Collins. I hate him but I love him because he makes me laugh yet I can't stand his self-deprecation while I think he is amazing to laugh at although I wish sometimes he would just stop talking. Phew. Oh Jane Austen, the things you have made me feel while reading your golden words.

 
 
While reading the book a few weeks ago, I began to notice a few similarities between the characters in the book and people today. This shocked me as I had previously thought of them as a different species speaking a language that is detectable as English yet incomprehensible to the human ear. So you can imagine my astonishment when I realised that maybe these characters were us but in a previous life. So let's begin with these similarities!
  • (Page 9, Chapter 2) "Mary wished to say something sensible, but knew not how."
    Come on, we all know that one person who tries to appear more intelligent than they actually are or think themselves more intelligent than they are. Sometimes it's annoying, but there's always that one person. Maybe it's you? You never know...
  • (Page 11, Chapter 3) "The ladies were somewhat more fortunate, for they had the advantage of ascertaining from an upper window, that he wore a blue coat and rode a black horse."
    We've all done this at one point or another. Maybe you've spotted the neighbour's son coming home from practice or there's someone you like near you and you can see them but they can't see you. Don't be ashamed, it's a perfectly normal thing to "spy" on someone you like. I think.
  • (Page 12, Chapter 3) "The girls grieved over such a number of ladies; but were comforted the day before the ball by hearing, that instead of twelve, he had brought only six with him from London, his five sisters and a cousin."
    If the guy/girl you've ever liked has thrown a party or is coming to a social gathering of some sort and you hear that they're bringing girls, it's almost like a rule that you have to freak out and find out as much as you can about who the girls are and whether they're competition or not.
  • (Page 12, Chapter 3) "The ladies declared he was much handsomer than Mr. Bingley, and he was looked at with great admiration for about half the evening, till his manners gave a disgust which turned the tide of his popularity..."
    Does this remind you of any teenage movies you've ever watched? Obviously the ending is different, but this first introduction just reminded me of the "hot jock" who is either stupid/rude/mean in those girly chick-flicks. But we find out Darcy is the opposite and absolutely adorkable, so I'll forgive him for this first impression he gave me and all the readers.
  • (Page 14, Chapter 3) "....she told the story however with great spirit among her friends; for she had a lively, playful disposition, which delighted in anything ridiculous."
    This makes me love Lizzy. I mean after Darcy says she is "tolerable, but not enough to tempt" him she still manages to not be put down by his comment. She's just so confident and knows who she is. You go, girlfriend! And hey, she gets the guy in the end, doesn't she?
  • (Page 15, Chapter 3) "Mr Bennet protested against any description of finery."
    Oh Mr Bennet...men today are just like you, they don't care about clothes of any sort. I find it hilarious that the phrase "men never change" is quite applicable to this scenario.
 

 
 
I think I'll stop here - it was a bit longer than I had anticipated so I'll post another 3 chapters soon! My main goal of this post was to give you a bit more insight into the P+P world and let you know that they're really not that different from us, so don't be afraid to tackle this novel just because of how highly regarded it is. I promise you will not regret reading this work of a genius.
 
All the best!
♥ Jess ♥

I Am Capable Of....

Every once in while, you just need someone to tell you in person what you are capable of. While I can sit behind my computer and project compliments to you all (which I honestly mean from the bottom of my heart), there's just something special about another person supporting you in person.

I will say that today, if you asked me how my day was on the whole, it was pretty good. But the one incredible thing about my day today was my English class. Now English is a class I always look forward to. I love writing and currently we're studying Pride and Prejudice, which if you're a hopeless romantic like me, you'll find is just sheer brilliance. Although I must also admit, one of my favourite things about my English class is my teacher. I won't publish her name due to privacy reasons, but she is such a fantastic person and teacher. I can honestly say that I don't think a) my writing has ever improved this much and b) I could ask for a better teacher. Besides being amazing, the thing I think is great is that she encourages everyone in my class. Today, she realised that most of us were doubting ourselves, so she made us write this:

(It says: I am capable of greatness in English. I will rise to the challenges. I am going to succeed.)


Seriously, how cute is she?! (sorry, really hoping I'm not on the verge of sounding creepy) That action today just made me think that believing in yourself is one of the most important things. What you think, you believe. So right now, you reading this, I demand that you write down the sentence in the picture (obviously change "English" to whatever you want to succeed in.) I already feel more confident in English just by re-reading it throughout the day.

This action that my teacher performed today is very admirable and just gave me that extra belief in myself that I needed. If I could, I would give the "Teacher of The Year Award" to her. I don't doubt that my whole English class would support me in this decision.
So my readers, enjoy all the little things and believe in yourself. I believe in you. Everyone has the potential to achieve greatness, it just depends on how you use your potential. And if you see one of your friends going through a difficult time, remind them of what they can do and how amazing they are. Tell them what you would want to be told if you were in their position.

I hope you enjoyed this post and you feel a little more inspired today!

♥ Jess ♥