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Thursday, 28 November 2013

Do I need to change?

I'm sure we've all seen those teenage rom-coms/sappy chick-flicks where at one point or another the loyal side-kick/love interest will say some cheesy line like: "You don't need to change. You're perfect the way you are." And while that is true to an extent, it's not always the case. Yes, of course you need to believe in yourself and have confidence in who you are, but sometimes a little self-evaluation is needed.

I get that we all can't be perfect. In fact, nobody is. But we can all take steps to becoming a better person. The trick is learning about how we can be better.



A girl in my Latin class said to me one day, "I trust too easily. That's why I always get so upset." Now at this point I really admired her. Firstly for realising her own faults which is a very difficult thing to do. But also for actually admitting them - which again isn't the easiest of tasks. To give you a little bit of a back story, this girl, let's call her Tootie, and Flimsy (whom you all may well remember from a few blog posts back) were in what I would call a love-hate relationship. It was quite toxic and had negative effects on both of them and their other friends. They would fight every week, yet miraculously be best friends again come Monday morning. And to be honest, nobody really enjoyed it when they were on good terms, let alone when they were fighting. So after Tootie said this to me, I thought maybe that things would change.

Surprise, surprise. They didn't. What I didn't understand was the fact that week after week, Tootie would come to me in floods of tears because of what Flimsy had done, yet every Monday the same cycle repeated itself over and over again. And it was so incredibly frustrating.
While Tootie is a really lovely person and it's a nice trait that she trusts people, there's a line as to how much you can trust someone.

If someone is hurting you again and again, you need to learn that this person isn't great for you to be around. And in this case, if you realise that part of the problem is that you for example trust too easily, consider not telling everything to people who have hurt you before.

 
Even Flimsy herself, could definitely be a better person if she learns from how she treats other people.
In addition, even if it's "not you" per say, but maybe a bad relationship or friendship that you're in, change that. Because it's not healthy for you and your wellbeing. It stops you from concentrating on your priorities and can also help you forget the important people for life. There's obviously a longer list of reasons why being in a bad relationship is not good for you, but that was  just a quick little summary.

We all know the phrase, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." After this person or event has "fooled you twice" so to speak, that's when it's important to learn from your mistakes. That's when the crucial moment of self-evaluation takes place. And that's when you need to change if needs be.

Think to yourself, "Yes they're not a good person for me/I shouldn't do that again. But why did it happen twice? (Or maybe) even more than twice?"

You all know that I try and give second chances when I feel I can give them out as much as I can, but when you're being hurt over and over again, self-evaluation is important not only to protect you from further instances but also to improve as a person.

Obviously, if you're hurt now - there's nothing you can do at the moment to reverse that. And it sucks. Trust me, I know. Right now, cry your eyes out, watch girly movies and call your best friend. Don't forget the ice-cream either. But when you're even the teensiest bit ready to tackle on the world again, evaluate yourself and grow from your mistakes. Realise that you can't change the past and that learning from your past is the only way forward to becoming a better, wiser you. Most importantly;

Have faith in yourself.
 
 
 
But know that a little self-evaluation - even if you haven't been hurt by someone/something - is always the key to becoming a better person.

♥ Jess ♥

Friday, 22 November 2013

Lessons To Be Learnt

Owning a blog is very rewarding but can also be quite time consuming. I mean this with love of course, but with anything that you really enjoy you can find yourself thinking about said object or activity regularly. It's very strange thinking constantly about ideas for this blog but all the same I love it because it lets me unleash some of my creative thoughts. So this past week, and pretty much ever since I started this blog, I've been thinking about all and any ideas that come to mind. Everything seems to inspire me in some way, shape or form, and it's very difficult to write down everything in time before I forget it. Nevertheless, I decided that this past week I have been reminded of important things to think about so I compiled it into this blog post today.

  • Take the high road - Let's say you don't quite get on with someone very well to say the least. While bitching about said person can be quite enjoyable, and let's face it - it's only human to bitch about someone - doing so can remind you of all the negative thoughts you have of them and make you more stressed out or annoyed in general. So take the high road and don't think about them if you can. Just think to yourself that whoever it is, isn't important in your life and is not someone you should waste your time thinking about.
 


  • Keep a steady head - It's been a bit of a tiresome/difficult week for me (which I will go into detail about in a couple of weeks) and it's important to clear your head in order to work better. Things are always better when you're calm and collected. I know people always, and I mean always, tell you to calm down when you're stressed but keeping a steady head doesn't make as many thoughts run through your mind, allowing you to focus on what's important.

  • Don't force anything - relationships, whether they may be friendships or dating-wise, shouldn't be forced. Firstly, the best relationships are never forced and when you force something there are no genuine feelings involved. And you don't want to waste your time on being fake, do you? Furthermore, when it comes to love and junk, as compatible as you might be for someone, if you don't feel those butterflies in your stomach or the spark of electricity when he/she catches your eye, you may want to think about whether or not it's worth you investing your feelings into. (Unless it's Andrew Garfield. In that case, he's always worth it.)

  • Take your time when making decisions - I don't mean you should spend 3 hours choosing what you want for lunch, but when it comes to important things to think about eg. friends, relationships, work etc. take your time because there's always the possibility that you could change your mind in the future.

  • Life will knock you down. Life sucks sometimes. And there's going to be moments where you get hurt even though you tried your hardest. People will say nasty things to you, you will get bad marks in work, but what's important is how you get yourself back up again. You can mellow in your despair for a while, but in the end, you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and bumble on through life. (Remember the rollercoaster I talked about here)

  • Love yourself for who you are. For example, I'm short (5 ft 1") and I actually love it. Sure it's quite annoying when I can never reach the top shelf of something and you do have to deal with the "short" jokes, but I fully embrace this about me. I love it. I never have to worry about finding a boyfriend shorter than me, I can fit into smaller spaces, I don't have to worry about clothes being too short and I can wear heels anytime I want. So always look on the bright side, because there is always one.
 



 
Side note: Here's a fun link relating to the best things about being short! http://www.gurl.com/2013/05/21/10-best-things-about-being-short-in-gifs/

  • Remember and treasure the important people - At the end of the day, these are the people who will be there for you the most and will help you get through some difficult times. I currently have three people (besides my mum) who I turn to the most, and I could not be more grateful to have them in my life.

So there you have it! Hopefully, it wasn't too much to take in, but maybe just keep these thoughts in the back of your mind over the weekend, or the  coming week. Maybe even in the forefront of your mind if you'd like!

 
♥ Jess ♥
 

Friday, 15 November 2013

Life Worries

Hello again, dear readers! First of all thank you very much to people who have read my blog and left me such kind words of encouragement - both in real life and on the internet. Thank you. It truly does mean a lot to me. I won't rant on about this (for now) but I expect that when New Year's rolls around and I get all deep and reflective, there's probably going to be a post full of my thanks to all of you. But enough of that for now.

Hey! Look at that! You're getting a lot more blog posts this past week! Lucky you :)

So this post today is pretty much dedicated to my friend, Gabi. Like a lot of people my age who are still in school, it's very natural to have freak outs regarding things like GCSEs and life in general. Also this is commonly the age where people do the most growing up and change the most. So to add that to any academic worries is quite a handful to manage.

I know you and I are probably both stressing about what is to come in the future. I know that sometimes when you're sad, people try and make you feel better by telling you what to appreciate and what to think. While they do it with good intentions, sometimes it's not the thing you want to hear most. Yes, I know I just did a blog post about appreciation, but if you're honestly not in the mood to listen to good things, you don't have to read it. I won't be offended. Honestly. I understand.

What I'm trying to say is: However old you are, it's okay if you're stressing or freaking out. It's perfectly natural. It's okay to be sad or confused or lost or lonely or unhappy or whatever you're currently feeling. That's all part of life. You've been strong and made it this far.  You don't need to make your mind up right now. You won't be stuck in this misery forever. And when you are even the slightest bit happier, appreciate that, because that is what's the most important - your happiness. And right now, if you're not happy, it's okay. Because sometimes it's okay to not be okay.

This post is generally aimed at people still in school but whether you're 12, 18, 30 or even having a mid-life crisis, just know that it's still acceptable to not be okay 24/7.

If you're like me, and you're going through school and you're stressing out - try not to. I'm not going to say that, "Everything will be perfect in the end," because frankly, I don't know that right now. But what I will say is that things do get better and if you have faith in yourself, you will succeed in whatever you want to do because that I do know. Look, you don't have to sort your life out now - plans change, people change and time goes on. I can promise you now, that if you're tearing your hair out over what's to come in your life, we're in exactly the same boat. On my mind, I'm pretty much always thinking about my mock exams 24/7 - so you're not alone.

The most important thing to take away from today is try to not be scared of what life is going to throw at you. But if you are, your feelings are validated. It's okay to be scared and it's okay to be confused. Think of your life as a journey on a rollercoaster. You have ups and downs but eventually you come to the end and you can breathe a sigh of relief. Not just because your life and the roller coaster was mega crazy, but because it was worth it and you're glad you went on the ride anyway.



♥ Jess ♥

Other useful blog links:

Keeping Focus
How To: Slow Down Time
I Am Capable Of...

 

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Sick Days

 
  
I love sick days. I think they're great. Don't worry, I am actually sick.  I'm not exactly sure what's wrong with me (besides a multitude of things) but I think it has something to do with my late nights and lack of water. No, sorry to burst your bubble, but my late nights have nothing to do with partying. *sad face* But I think it is important to let you guys know, as a general rule, that if you're staying up late doing homework or whatever it is cool kids do these days, you should drink A LOT of water. I know I sound like those pamphlets you read in the doctors' office that say, "Drink at least 6-8 cups of water a day," but it is incredibly healthy for you.

a) It helps fight spots and breakouts
b) It can help you wake up sometimes
c) It fills your tummy when you're hungry (well, sometimes...)
d) It can help boost your immune system

There's a longer list of why water's beneficial for you but let's not get too into that right now. All I'm going to say for now is: drink water.



Okay, okay, I'll get back on point now. So, the main reason that I love sick days are that they're special. It's not like holidays or the weekend where everyone is off school or work. It's just you. On your own, enjoying the day. It's a different kind of solitude, I guess. Maybe it's because you know that you're the only one getting this magical day so you feel more....important? Powerful? Significant? Have you ever wished that the weekend could be one day longer? Sick days are like that one extra day. That being said, don't go skipping one day of school every week!

Now I know if you're like me, the one thing you probably think about sick days is that it gives you a chance to catch up on all the TV you've missed, the homework you probably forgot about, the chance to tidy your room, to sort out your photos on your computer, the opportunity to actually read Romeo and Juliet and not just read the synopsis on Sparknotes, but frankly, that won't happen. This morning when I thought I would get the opportunity to do all of the above, the first thing I did (naturally) was sleep. For six more hours to be exact. And guess what? I'm still tired.

A couple months ago, a friend of mine took a sick day and she said to me, "sick days are really useful. I managed to catch up on all the homework I needed to and now I'm so relaxed." I guess different people spend their sick days doing different things. While it would be nice to be able to do all the things I want to do in my day of rest, I know that the most important thing for my health and my body is to sleep.


So what I'm saying to y'all today is make the most of your sick day when you get one. Treasure them because once the clock hits 4 pm - or whenever your school ends - it's no longer your sick day anymore. But I love sick days. They're great. And they give you a bit of a break from reality.  So if you're sick or you're just a bit under the weather, here are some of my essentials:

  • A good movie. Something girly is highly recommended eg. Life as We Know it, Step Up, Tangled etc.

  •  A hot beverage of some sort. Being very British at heart, I think English Breakfast Tea is best. But hot chocolate works just as well.

  • A laptop. This is my number one priority. I don't mean to sound like one of those kids who's glued to their computer but technology is beautiful. You can do anything on it. Watch Youtube videos, go online shopping, play games, look through photos, stalk celebrities, write blog posts, watch movies, go on social media websites, among many other things. 

  • Just sit there and breathe. Or lie down if you'd prefer. Like I said before, sick days give you a break from reality so take the time to not think. I know this sounds like the most unproductive thing to do but it's really nice when you're sick or stressed to just clear your mind.

  • Clean your face. Just washing it can help clear bad, icky gunk off your face and make you feel instantly alive. Then maybe you might do something useful with your day!  

  • Sleep, sleep, sleep. If you've been sleep deprived it's imperative that you catch up on some much needed sleep. Even just one or two more hours will improve your health by a lot. 

  • Drink, drink, drink. No, I don't mean alcohol. But if that makes you feel better AND you're above the drinking age in your own country, go ahead. To clear this situation up, I meant water. When you're sick, your skin can get dry and lack some life. And especially in the colder months, will your skin thank you for some much needed moisture. *Side note: I find drinking water in a sippy cup (not sure if they're called this, but see image below) helps me drink more water and makes drinking it more enjoyable. Also it just makes life that bit more exciting.*

 

So that's my drabble done for today! If you are sick, I hope you get better and maybe you can even check out this post to help cheer you up. As always, take care!

♥ Jess ♥

Friday, 8 November 2013

Keeping Focus

Only let the good fill your brain. Push all negative thoughts away. Think about your family and friends that appreciate you and love you for who you are. Only let positive people surround you. Focus entirely on what is to come. There will be people who don't like you, but accept it and move on - they aren't worth your time and people like that don't deserve to be thought about anyway. Believe in what you can achieve and think positive. Starting now, the rest of your life will be yours. If you slip and fall, it doesn't matter. Get back up again and try. Promise yourself that you'll try. The only person you have to prove anything to is yourself  but do it for those who love you, those who trust you and those who you trust. Rise above the challenges. Remember that life is about creating the person who you want to be. But most importantly, have faith in yourself and the belief that you can succeed and conquer any obstacle.

 
 Who can stop you?
Today is your day.

♥ Jess ♥

Saturday, 2 November 2013

Cheering You Up/October Favourites

Howdy y'all! Today has been such a great day and hopefully I can embark some of my happiness with you all. An extra fact about me is that I love Youtube. I love the videos, the people and the community within the whole website. Not to mention some of the comments people leave on videos are pretty funny. And like pretty much every other teenage girl, I have quite a massive love towards the 'British Youtube Gang' as I like to call them. One of the gang members, Louise has a little child called Darcy, who is possibly one of the cutest things.  (I realise that I just made it sound like Louise is in some kind of dark, mysterious mafia gang that sells unmentionable things and plays poker games while smoking cigars, but far from it in fact.) While I was having a Darcy marathon, I came across this video, which made me so unbelievably content just by watching it:


Is Darcy not the most precious thing? Okay, I promise this post won't be my female hormones fangirling over Baby Glitter, as she is otherwise known. I decided/reminded myself that after that video put me in such cheerful state of mind that laughing is probably one of the most important things to experience in life. So today, as I mentioned before, I want to spread some of this sunshine with you all. Therefore, here's a short little list to lift up your mood if you're feeling a bit under the weather. I guess maybe you could even call it my October Favourites of things I've been loving this past month.

 
1. This video. It's just brilliant. I had to stop it because I was laughing so hard. I won't deny that this is my number 1 feel good video. The saxophone one is pretty special too.
 
 
2. Make Up Products. This one is probably just for girls, or guys if you have makeup too, but I love the sound of makeup products touching each other. If you don't have a lot of makeup or you haven't experienced the sound, just type in "Make-Up Collection" and enjoy the videos on YouTube to your heart's content.
 
 
 
3. This scene from 21 Jump Street. I love this movie so much. Channing Tatum + Jonah Hill. What more could you ask for? And I crack up every time Daxflame (the guy with curly hair) says: "H2O, H2O..." in that way. I highly recommend watching this movie. Although not with your parents, unless they're quite liberal, as there is a fair amount of swearing.
 
 
In addition, just watching any of your favourite movies is guaranteed to turn that frown upside down. Others from my own collection include; Confessions of a Shopaholic & The Devil Wears Prada (or any other fashion/journalism movie) Grown Ups, Tangled and I especially like old Disney movies like Finding Nemo. It makes me so nostalgic but at the same time it brings me back to my very happy childhood.
 
4. Reading. Reading brings you to another world and helps you forget about your troubles. While characters are relatable, sometimes you forget that while you're immersed in their world and so in a way you take a journey with the characters. You don't have to read anything extremely intellectual, ie. Great Expectation or Pride and Prejudice, unless you want to of course. Currently, I'm loving anything by Sophie Kinsella. I think her and I are secretly long-lost best friends.
 
 
5. Getting an unexpected compliment. It's the best feeling in the world when someone compliments you and you don't expect it. Yes, a compliment is nice when you've done your hair in a nice way or you're wearing a new lipstick but when you've done nothing special at all and you're just doing your own thing and someone compliments you - that's when it feels the best. It just brightens up you're day. So, in the words of Joey Tribbiani, How you doin'?
 
So there it is! My October Favourites! I hope if you're not feeling that great you have at least smiled or smirked at something stupid I've written. Remember; it takes more muscles to frown than to smile. Sorry, I apologise if I sound a bit like your mother/great-aunt/some other female relative. Thanks for reading!
 
♥ Jess ♥
 

New Introductions

It's said that when you meet someone, both parties automatically judge each other within 3 seconds. So assuming that you're still reading this, hey :)  Glad I've sparked your interest.

Short post today, but my next one will hopefully be worth the wait. I guess new introductions are in order. If you've come here from my "old" blog, Hiya. Explosionsonapage.blogspot is still owned by me, or rather blogger.com, and every post from that blog is here - so fear not!

Reason for the new name? Someone recently pointed out that the word "explosion" might cause some unwanted attention from certain people, so I felt it best to avoid all that drama that may/may not occur in the future. So say hello to: Eccentric Light Bulbs! I loved explosionsonapage. It was my baby and I cherished it dearly. But hopefully you'll like Eccentric Light Bulbs just as much. It's still the same writing and I'm still that same weirdo so just stick with me on this journey, if you please.

I'll explain the name a bit more. I wanted to create a new name (like explosions on a page) which really represented me and what me and my blog is all about. Eccentric: pretty much describes itself - it's totally me. Crazy and unconventional. Light Bulbs came from when my English Teacher described my blog as 'illuminating' which means enlightening, and will hopefully help you see things from a new perspective. Light Bulbs are also that classic symbol of a bright new idea - or a stroke of geniusness (I am aware that 'geniusness' isn't a word, but it felt appropriate. Plus the irony is quite amusing.)



So goodbye, Explosions on a Page. You'll be missed dearly. But say "Hello" to Eccentric Light Bulbs - your source for that stroke of illumination. (That should be my slogan I think.)

Click here to see newer posts

♥ Jess ♥